Inner child mothering : somatic safety is essential for trauma release
A few days ago I had the honor of holding a congregant’s young child self who had been intimately assaulted during a medical procedure when she went under anesthesia.
This young one, speaking with a lisp, said she felt safe with me and toddled when she walked. She was afraid of seeming awkward, was very concerned about being responsible, and later identified as nerodivergent.
Together we released an ancestral locking down of the hips of attempted self protection. Aš each bound chain of movement relaxed in assistive spiraling, soft realigning adjustments of the bones of the spine, sacrum, and hips audibly occurred.
During integration her adult self said ‘for so long, men have opened women’s bodies selfishly, without any care for the woman’s timing or pleasure. But this body is mine, it deserves protection and to be honored.’ She later shared that ‘her original purity and innocence was restored’.
As a voice of the feral feminine, this is tragically an all too common violation. From a transpersonal perspective, one of the saddest parts of a perpetrator taking power over another being is that the controller does not actually get access to the thing that their hungry soul is wanting : connection to vulnerability and surrender. When you force a bud open before it is ready you do not get the deep pleasure of her fully developed scent and unfurling of her soft petals.
If those who pursue power over only knew the oceanic omnidirectional caring possibility they could swim in if they created a container of safety + consent. The feral feminine is free of social constraints : Curious, exploratory, unashamed, ravenous for rapture. Only wild women in sovereignty can access this state because it must be freely given without cultural coercion. You cannot cage these women or you lose the value of their choice and their consciousness dissociates, leaving their body empty, much like attempting to capture the wind destroys it. Religious systems understand this when they state that God gave free will because only then do prayers and praise have any meaning.
The feral feminine can love you in ways without words, beyond fixity of form, morphing into animals, enrobing you in the ecosystem of embodiment. Voidal, toroidal. Her permissionary power desires your freedom of expression, drawing it out of you through incarnate inspiration.
Just because you exert control over something does not mean you have power over it.
Even in the darkness of these longest nights, have hope, for what you have carried, even if it has been throughout your whole lifetime, or epigenetically through your ancestral line, can be transformed rapidly in a resonant container. When the body feels safe, healing can happen instantly. Our nervous system will only allow you to go into your trauma release process to a certain depth alone {turning so far inward makes you vulnerable to apex predators and thus as a trait was selected out of the gene pool}. May you find someone you feel safe to unfurl into the loving protective arms of, you deserve this care, and the full expression of aliveness this makes possible.